I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize