I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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