Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
