We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We need to feng shui this bitch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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