i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
