5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
