He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize