i can't believe i had my finger in that
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
