he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize