the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
