Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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