hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
