He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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