i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
