do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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