there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
