I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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