I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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