Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
