ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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