They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
