STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
