the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
