do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
