Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
