Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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