): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
