Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
