That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
These tits shall not be calmed
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
