OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
