i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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