I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
