I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
