i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
