I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize