just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
