It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
