Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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