$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
