u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
