His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
