so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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