you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
