Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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