Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
