Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
