It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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