i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
