oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
