just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
