So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
