these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
