you guys were way drunker than both of me
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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