Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
