She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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