We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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