dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
