no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
