Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let's get the cat blown out
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
