already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
