STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
