I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
did you just send me my own nude
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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