i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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