that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
