Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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