Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
