is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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