Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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